So this happened this week. Hair was buzzed! It has been a long time coming. She is only twelve, so I was apprehensive to say the least; worried she would immediately regret it, worried what other people would say (especially other kids at school), worried about how it would turn out. But at the end of the day it is just hair and it will grow back...and she's rocking it!
When my kids were just toddlers (and I didn't even have three of them yet) some wise older parent, years ahead of me, advised me to 'choose your battles'. There are so many things that can be frustrating, especially with little kids and in different ways as they get older. That has always stuck with me though.
So I decided back them to let them choose their outfits (I still had control over what was in the cupboard and drawers to start with) but if socks didn't match, or things clashed? So what! They were having some independence, it was one less thing for me to have to worry about and we weren't going to have a fight about how they looked. Outside of the lines of being appropriate, they were then, and are now, figuring out what they like, who they are, how they want to look and present themselves.
This was absolutely not done on a whim. Any time they have come to me about haircuts, we don't cut their hair the next day, it's normally a few weeks to really make sure they are set on their decision. In this case the requests started many months ago. In the end (unsurprisingly once daddy was on board it came around much quicker) my final procrastination bargaining chip was to ascertain how on top of all of her schoolwork she was, as it has been over three months of 'distance learning' thanks to our covid/coronavirus pandemic.
In the end I was the one to chop of her locks and buzz her whole head. I went gradually and started with an undercut, in case maybe that would suffice; long on top with the option to put it up and show off what was underneath....but no, that was not the look she was going for. So I kept going. It was a family affair and even involved a friend watching on Facetime for part of it.
She really does love it and people (friends mainly) have been supportive and complimentary about it. I'm sure there are those who may question it, but they haven't spoken up yet. They are entitled to their opinion of course, but that doesn't need to influence her. I am proud of her for wanting to be a little different, to be herself and be comfortable and be free. I have no idea how quickly she will decide to grow it out, if she will be happy to have tried it but be ready for a change again, or if she will keep it trimmed and short for a while? We shall see.
By the next morning, she walked in and I had the initial 'oh yeah, that happened' thought which quickly moved on to 'it really suits her' and now, a few days later, I look back at the photos in the poppy field and they don't even look fully like her anymore. She is stunning and confident and loving it. The first thing I see is her amazing eyes and I wonder why I was so hesitant? She can carry this off no problem and if at some point she is bombarded with criticism or abuse, I will be the first to remind her and encourage her to be strong in her decision and to continue to believe in herself.
