Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Day In The Life - April 2013

Often photographers end up neglecting the documentation of their own families. Sometimes it can be due to being too busy with client work, or a lack of inspiration, or just not being able to balance everything. This is my 'Day in the Life Project'. I choose one day each month to document, from morning to night, so that each month I am guaranteed photographs of my family and my life.

This past weekend we headed back up to Petaluma to watch the Butter and Egg Day Parade, with friends. The weather was perfect so once the parade had ended we headed out to the beach, where it turns out the weather was less than perfect, windy and foggy. That too was when we realized the bag with layers to keep warm had also been left behind. Oh well, we tried. On our way home, another set of friends invited us over for a little bbq, so it all worked out perfectly, after all.

These are not technically perfect (far from it), or portrait-worthy, this is just real life. If you are doing something similar leave me a comment with a link to where I can follow along with you, I would love that!



Monday, April 29, 2013

52 Weeks of 2013 - Week 17


Five year olds are determined creatures. This week, mine learned how to blow bubble gum bubbles. We often have chewing gum but she specifically asked for bubble gum this time and asked me to teach her. She worked at it, repeatedly, she was not going to give up and all of a sudden it all began to click. She had put all that she had into it and there she was, proud as could be, blowing bubbles.

Such a simple little achievement, that may not mean much to some, but it's the little achievements that build confidence and make them (us) believe that maybe they can accomplish whatever they next set their mind to!

Friday, April 26, 2013

Sneak Peek - Baby Reynolds

Baby Reynolds arrived, and she was a beautiful 7lb 8oz little girl. Both parents are absolutely smitten with their perfect little girl and rightly so. This little girl is loved!

Here are just a few favorites.





Congratulations Reynolds family, your adventure has begun.

Monday, April 22, 2013

52 Weeks of 2013 - Week 16


I had an interesting weekend. I was away with friends for a women's retreat and somehow got signed up to do an activity called 'The Leap of Faith'. The write up for it said that we would climb 65ft up a redwood tree to a platform, then jump from the platform to a trapeze swing. Nothing about it appealed to me, I am not one for heights, but two of my close friends signed up and signed me up to do it with them. I thought about it for a while and then went back and removed my name from the sign up list. This really was not 'my cup of tea'.

However, the theme for the weekend was 'I do hard things'. Deep breath. I decided to put my name back on the list, but with the condition that I would watch and make a decision when the time came. I was not making a commitment! I would be in control. I put it out of my mind.

The following day, I made sure to remind my friends (at least) a couple of times that I really was not making any promises.  I needed to make sure there were no expectations. We all had lunch together, then, far too soon, it was time to hike up to where the leap was to take place.

As soon as we arrived and looked up at the giant redwood I got a knot in the pit of my stomach. As I craned my neck back, in an attempt to see how high the platform actually was, I realized I could barely even see that high and the number '65ft' had meant nothing to me. Faced with the reality and enormity of this obstacle I was ready to bow out. I told my friends that I didn't think I would do it and that I would just watch them and cheer them on. Why on earth would I want to put myself through that? I don't like heights and this was beyond any height I knew I could stomach. Yes, I would sit and watch and cheer the others on.

Our group was around a dozen women, a few others who were there to watch and not participate, so I really did not feel any pressure (other than my little group of friends who kept checking back in with me to see if I was ready to do it). I could feel them watching, wondering, willing me on without actually compelling me.

Our guide was fabulous and made it quite clear from the start that there was no pressure to complete this obstacle. He made it clear that with the harness and belay, although the perceived risk was incredibly high, the actual risk was very low (that still did not help me). He made it clear that at any point if anyone felt they had gone high enough they could say so and he would bring them down. For some, that would be enough, just to attempt the climb and see how far they could get.

I watched, as each woman took her turn; some made it look easy, for some it was clearly a struggle. Most made it all the way and took the leap, while a couple climbed as far as they could and then, without shame, to the cheers of the rest of us waiting on the ground, they requested to be brought down.

As I sat there, so many thoughts went through my head. I knew that I had no desire to even attempt the task before me. I knew also that, at the end of the day, even if I could not complete it, I would kick myself if I did not at least try. I hate the idea of looking back with regret! But my biggest motivator was my son.

My little boy is so much like me, in my negative traits: my worrying, my over analyzing, my cautiousness and my desire to have plans in place. I want so much more for him and know he is very capable, but he needs to take risks, to just TRY.  That is my encouragement to him over and over, 'Just try!'.

So there I sat, realizing that if for no other reason than to be able to say to my son, see I tried...I had to make an attempt, no matter how poor it was. I was the last to go, the last to make the decision, I finally climbed into the harness, took a deep breath and started to climb.

It turned out the climbing itself was fine. I focused on the tree and the next step up, not looking down, listening to the women below, yelling their support, encouraging me. Having seen my initial reluctance it seemed they were all the more enthusiastic and I just kept moving...up.


It was a workout and I arrived at the little platform with my heart beating and my mouth dry, but I had completed the climb. That was when it hit me, how high I was. I stood on that little platform, inched my way towards the edge and realized, for the first time, how far the trapeze was. I would need to jump up and out to reach it.

THERE WAS NO WAY I COULD DO IT.

I was completely and utterly terrified, in a way I have never been before. There was no logic to the situation. There was no reasoning. I stood there, barely able to hear whatever was being shouted from below, feelings fluctuated; blank, numb, scared and worried, distraught, disturbed. Words will never be able to describe those moments.

Time stood still. I was truly afraid. I inched forward again, knowing still, that I could not make that jump, I tried to calculate just how much I would need to bend my knees, whether I should already have my hands raised and ready to catch the trapeze, or if I should start with them low to help propel me further as I would fling them up. The whole thing was ridiculous. The voices below were shouting encouragement, but it didn't matter. Then I realized the group following us had arrived and were now also waiting and watching. My mouth was still dry and more minutes had passed.

There was no other way down, an attempt to climb down would be near impossible, yet I had to get down. I would not be living the rest of my life on that little platform. I really had no choice but to try to jump. I knew in my head that should I miss, I was securely strapped into a harness and would not actually plummet to my death, but it did NOTHING to reassure me. My brain would accept no reasoning. This obstacle was not called a leap of faith without good cause.

Somehow I willed myself, petrified as I was, to jump. I was not suddenly full of hope, I just had to force myself because there was no other option. Courage is not, doing something without fear, it is doing something in the face of fear!

I made it! I jumped and I caught that stupid trapeze and swung for a moment, maybe not exhilarated but most certainly relieved and amazed and grateful. The adrenalin was pumping as I then let go of the trapeze and was lowered to the ground. I did it and survived.


I realize in hindsight that this is all so typical of me in my daily life. I am not adventurous, I rarely take risks, I like to make sure that my chances of success are high, I like to be in control. Living this way, however, how much have I missed out on?

I firmly believe, that the natural and spiritual world mirror each other. I don't want to have to be backed into a corner until I am left with no choice but to do what is left before me...I want to be someone who is willing to try, when I sense in my spirit that there is something I should do, or say. My natural tendencies are strong and I can be stubborn, but I sincerely want to be more willing. I know it won't necessarily be easy, I know that I can't change overnight, but I hope I will look back to this day and be able remind myself and motivate myself that I can do more than I believe to be possible in my own strength. That sometimes risks are worth it.

(Thank you to my friend Susan for taking a few photos - there is proof of the nightmare.)

Monday, April 15, 2013

52 Weeks of 2013 - Week 15


 We were in Texas last week, visiting my husband's family and I of course had to take photographs of us all while we were there. I love the relationship that my husband has with our kids. I love that they each know how special they are to him, in their own ways. I love capturing family connections, especially mine!

I know they will all look back and cherish these one day, even if (gasp, wait for it) they weren't initially excited and overjoyed that I wanted to take them. There's always a little bit of resistance, then we get into it and have fun and before they know it we're just hanging out and laughing and loving together. Photo shoots do not have to be stiff and posed and formal, especially when you have young children involved. They should be able to capture you, as you really are, together.

We even were able to get a whole family shot thanks to my sister-in-law, Cathy Cannan Nance, also a photographer who came along for the ride. Yay! That makes me so happy.




Of course, because horses are such a novelty to us, I had to get some horsey shots too. We were losing light rapidly, but they really are such amazing creatures.



Tuesday, April 9, 2013

52 Weeks of 2013 - Week 14


Ah my baby girl. A true sweetheart, full of joy and generous to a fault. She is growing up so quickly. No child can ever be perfect, but she has my heart and I am so blessed to be her Mama.
 

Monday, April 1, 2013

52 Weeks of 2013 - Week 13

I met Jerusha over a decade ago. She was wise beyond her years, with a grace and presence few can deny. Over the years we have shared many cups of tea and chatted about adventures and love lives and hopes and dreams. There were many of us, over the years, who were surprised that she had not been 'snapped up', who were hoping and praying with her, for her fairy tale ending.

Waiting is not always easy. Not when it seems to be your constant 'season'. Not when it seems that all around you are reaching their dreams. However, I think all of us who had the pleasure of attending this wedding can attest to...Bert was the one she had been waiting for and he was worth the wait. Jerusha was positively radiant.

I was not on duty for this wedding, but could not resist getting a few shots of the first dance and capturing the joy of dancing with her husband for the first time. Such precious moments!

So incredibly happy for the both of you!