52 Weeks of 2013 - Week 14

Ah my baby girl. A true sweetheart, full of joy and generous to a fault. She is growing up so quickly. No child can ever be perfect, but she has my heart and I am so blessed to be her Mama.
 

52 Weeks of 2013 - Week 13

I met Jerusha over a decade ago. She was wise beyond her years, with a grace and presence few can deny. Over the years we have shared many cups of tea and chatted about adventures and love lives and hopes and dreams. There were many of us, over the years, who were surprised that she had not been 'snapped up', who were hoping and praying with her, for her fairy tale ending.

Waiting is not always easy. Not when it seems to be your constant 'season'. Not when it seems that all around you are reaching their dreams. However, I think all of us who had the pleasure of attending this wedding can attest to...Bert was the one she had been waiting for and he was worth the wait. Jerusha was positively radiant.

I was not on duty for this wedding, but could not resist getting a few shots of the first dance and capturing the joy of dancing with her husband for the first time. Such precious moments!

So incredibly happy for the both of you!

Day In The Life - March 2013

Often photographers end up neglecting the documentation of their own families. Sometimes it can be due to being too busy with client work, or a lack of inspiration, or just not being able to balance everything. This is my 'Day in the Life Project'. I choose one day each month to document, from morning to night, so that each month I am guaranteed photographs of my family and my life.

Today was the last day of the month, but a good one to document. Easter Sunday! We have a communal Easter breakfast at church and it was also my week to teach the preschoolers. Each year after church is the Easter Egg Hunt, a highlight of the kids' year. Then lunch with our pastor's family and some other friends, which lasted well into the afternoon, followed by heading home to start packing for our trip to Texas this week and get ready for bed.

These are not technically perfect (far from it), or portrait-worthy, this is just real life. If you are doing something similar leave me a comment with a link to where I can follow along with you, I would love that!

52 Weeks of 2013 - Week 12

Some weeks are just harder and longer than others...but there is always hope!

52 Weeks of 2013 - Week 11

I love this spring weather. I love the kids having an extra day off school and getting to meet with friends. Being outdoors. Exploring new places we have not seen before, bringing fresh inspiration. Children laughing and playing, as well as the quiet more focused moments.

Of course, had this photograph been planned, she would have been wearing a beautiful dress, instead of a t-shirt with a modern cartoon on it, but this is real life folks. Real, unscripted, not posed, just capturing a simple moment.

They grow up too quickly and there are so many of these moments worth capturing. Let's not forget.

First Baby on the Way - Reynolds Sneak Peek {Marin Maternity Photographer}

The anticipation of waiting for your first child to be born. You know, in theory, life is going to change, but the reality for most of us is that we have no idea how. It can be exciting and scary, full of hopes and dreams for the little one you have yet to meet.

What an exciting phase of life to document.

Steve and Laura are about to embark on the adventure of parenthood. These are their last days as just a couple and soon they will be a little family. They came to the Bay Area as a young married couple to attend Golden Gate Baptist Theological Seminary. Laura has since graduated and now works at Gilead House, helping families in need while Steve, still a student (and will be for a while, as he plans to continue on to do his PhD) is also the Youth Pastor at Tiburon Baptist Church. They are a busy couple, but life is about to get way busier. I think they're looking forward to it.

Can't wait to meet your little one.

52 Weeks of 2013 - Week 10

They are true sisters, the best of friends, the worst of enemies. They play together and giggle together and plan and primp together. They still hold hands! I love watching their relationship blossom and I try hard to remember if it was like that for my sister and I. My memory fails me but I am sure it must have been.

They approach life so differently and have strengths and weaknesses uniquely their own and I love them all the more for it. I know they will always be there for each other, through thick and thin. They are and will be, a force to be reckoned with.

Love these two little mischief makers!

52 Weeks of 2013 - Week 9

I do not enjoy winter, the cold and the damp and the gloom. I know that I can no longer really complain, our winter here, compared to other states, or even countries, is incredibly mild. It is not the biting cold that I experienced with my English winters, when I would walk through the snow and come home, my eyelashes frozen and clumped together, my cheeks stinging. I no longer experience the agony of my poor frozen toes swollen and blistered from chilblains...yet I still look forward to spring. There is anticipation and longing.

I can often be found telling myself, reminding myself, yet again, this is just a season. A season of living on one income, a season of a husband in school, a home that feels too small....but I live in expectation that our spring will come. I will once again see the buds on the trees and the weights will be lifted. I would not trade these days and the challenges we at times face, for any other life. There is joy and beauty to be found each day, there are smiling and laughing children and hugs and "I love you"s and the security that comes from a best friend by my side.

Spring would not be so sweet without the preceding winter. That is how life is. We need to go through the trials and the darkness, to really appreciate when the sun breaks through. To feel the warmth on our faces, to see the flowers in bloom and feel the hope rise within us. Can we really appreciate what we have, unless we have had not?

Day In The Life - February 2013

Often photographers end up neglecting the documentation of their own families. Sometimes it can be due to being too busy with client work, or a lack of inspiration, or just not being able to balance everything. This is my 'Day in the Life Project'. I choose one day each month to document, from morning to night, so that each month I am guaranteed photographs of my family and my life.

Sometimes life is just so busy, but last weekend we had a pretty unstructured Saturday. While hubby and son took off for karate classes, the girls, with a couple of friends played Legos for hours and then their brother came home and happily joined in. We had to drag them away to get out of the house for an hour. Then my sweet boy made dinner for us all, with just a little help from me. Love these family days. As well as the usual collage I had to sneak in a couple extra of my kids, just because they're such great kids and I love them so much!

These are not technically perfect (far from it), or portrait-worthy, this is just real life. If you are doing something similar leave me a comment with a link to where I can follow along with you, I would love that!

52 Weeks of 2013 - Week 8

I have talked before about the importance of being in the photographs with your families. We moms are often the ones behind the camera, but I want my children to remember our relationship too. In case you hadn't noticed, I love to take photos of my kids, but this is just as important. If anything were to happen to me, I want a record for my kids to see how much I loved them. I am not trying to be morbid, I hope we will look at these together in the years ahead, but we just never know.

I lost my mom eight years ago, totally unexpectedly, the day before my son's first birthday. I can go back in a second to that morning, waking to the message on the answer machine from my sister in England (calling in the early hours of the morning) telling me that I needed to call her right away. It was the worst day of my life.

Pain and grief are strange emotions that lessen with time; my father leaving home, the death of my grandma, the betrayal and heartbreak of my first boyfriend, the miscarriage of our first baby, they were all things that seemed devastating at the time but as life moved on there was healing. It has not been so easy dealing with the loss of my mother.

It took me becoming a mother, to fully appreciate her and her love for me. What I wouldn't give for a picture like the one above of me with my mom. That would seriously be priceless. There are questions that will forever remain unanswered. There were children she never got to hug and brothers and a sister she didn't watch marry. I miss her terribly still and it's a hole that cannot be filled by anyone else.

Be in photos with your children! Hire a professional, ask a friend, or a neighbor, or a stranger, use your phone, I don't care how you achieve it, just do it - you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. I promise you, you will treasure them and your children will thank you for it later. These are memories people, invest in them!

(For anyone who cares, I set the camera manually and shot with the interval timer - camera on tripod)

52 Weeks of 2013 - Week 7

I have a love, hate, relationship with the ocean. It fills me with a sense of wonder, much like outer space. It is a place I know so little about, it draws me in, fascinated by another 'world', yet it also terrifies me. It is vast and huge and I would surely drown in a moment, completely helpless at it's non-giving mercy.

I would rather sit, cautiously removed, listening to the waves lap the shore. In safety. That is me, I will happily admire from a distance. Most often though, the protected place is not the most fulfilling.

I know we cannot all plunge the depths to view the mysteries the ocean holds, but it is a metaphor for life. Sometimes we do need to take risks and go deeper, to see true beauty. Yes, it may be scary, but once we do that, will we ever look back?

(These photos were all taken at the Aquarium of the Bay, San Francisco)

Happy Valentine's Day

Ah the love day! I'm sure a small fortune is spent on this day, all over the Western world. It kind of bothers me to be honest. Now don't get me wrong, I am all about love and one of my main love languages is gifts, but I like heartfelt gifts, that time and effort have gone into, or spontaneous gifts, not gifts that are expected or that the marketers have told us to get and give because of their chosen day. He doesn't need to buy me diamonds or a fancy car or anything else of high value to prove his love.

I want to share with you one of my favorite gifts of all time. This little wooden heart that James made for me seventeen years ago. I still have it, it gets transferred from bag to bag. It is a little more worn than when I first received it, but I love it, still. It fits perfectly in the palm of my hand, a little larger than a quarter. He made it, with love, but it's not just that, it's the history and the thought that are behind it.

For those of you who don't know our story, grab a cup of tea (or your beverage of choice) and I will fill you in on a little of how this British girl ended up married to an American guy. I warn you though, it may take a little time.

We met in Scotland one weekend, many years ago. I had recently finished a DTS (discipleship training school) and was back for a weekend to visit friends. A new school was about to start and I knew everyone on the leadership and leadership training, apart from James. Because the rest of us knew each other, nobody thought to introduce the two of us, so I had to take it on myself.

Before leaving Scotland, a couple of months prior, I had visited a drama ministry looking to take on more staff and they had mentioned a guy from California named James who was also interested. I asked him if he was that James and it turned out he was! Thus our conversations started.

I truly believe we were meant to meet, we were meant to be together. It is as if, for the previous year, we had been looking at the same opportunities and our lives had been on parallel paths, as one of us changed out direction, so did the other. We had both planned on attending a school south of London, we both looked at the drama opportunity, we both ended up in Scotland, Seamill, West Kilbride, at different times, granted, on different schools, but that weekend we were there together and a connection was made. He says he knew that weekend that I was going to be his wife but (very, very wisely) didn't tell me - I would have run a mile!

He was attentive and kind and funny, but not just with me, with everybody he interacted with. I know, because I was watching. I didn't feel like he was trying to make an impression on me, that's just how he was and I really liked him. Of course, it was just a weekend and at the end of it I headed back to the southern-most part of England, nine hours away. I had made many great friends during my time in Scotland and the leaving and the goodbyes had been so hard. We had all gone our separate ways, many to countries far far away and with no idea if we would ever see each other again. On my train ride home that weekend it struck me that I wanted to see that man again, I didn't want that to be it. So I wrote him a letter, just letting him know that I would love to keep in touch.

What I didn't know, until much later, was that he had felt God tell him that weekend that I was going to be his wife. In his own humanity he had felt like it was potentially easy to let his emotions, or an attraction, cloud his ability to hear clearly and so he had prayed and told God that if he was not making this up that he needed me to write to him first. He was not going to make any attempt to contact me or follow up (and as far as he knew he would never see me again). Well I mailed my letter that same day I wrote it and he received it two days later!

That's how it started, we wrote a ridiculous amount and really got to know each other. He featured majorly in my thoughts, but he was an American and would be half a world away before I knew it. Still we continued to write and then graduated to phone calls...and then I decided that I wanted to visit Scotland again, you know, just to catch up with my friends.

I was NERVOUS! I felt like I really, really liked him but dating wasn't going to work, not in the traditional sense with the distance and really unless this was going to go somewhere I didn't want to waste time. I just wanted to know if he liked me (he still hadn't said anything to that effect) or move on. He had become a major distraction and I wasn't okay with that. It needed to be dealt with, one way or another. It was scary.

So the second time we met there was a lot riding on it. It was a wonderful weekend, hanging out with friends and him of course. The Saturday the two of us had spent most of the day with some old friends of his (married with a baby) exploring a nearby island, The Isle of Arran. We had paired off on our way back and walked along the beach together while his friends took a more stroller friendly route. It would have been a perfect, romantic time for him to declare his feelings...except that I was so nervous that I barely let him get a word in, poor guy. That's kind of how that weekend went, I wanted to know if he had feelings, but the enormity of the potential of what that could lead to, freaked me out and so I couldn't allow for the space and the moment for him to share that.

I was due to head home on the Monday and Monday rolled around and he hadn't said anything so I decided that he was a wonderful guy but maybe I had just misread it all. I really didn't think I had, we were extremely comfortable together and had really clicked, but I was NOT going to force something to happen if it wasn't meant to, I was not going to be the one to bring up the subject...and then as he was about to head into a meeting he grabbed me and asked if we could go for a walk afterwards, he had something he wanted to say, he told me.

I started to freak out. I mean really freak out, I felt that I might be sick. My heart was racing. The anticipation, as I waited for his meeting to finish, was almost more pressure than I could bear. As we started to walk down the path, just a couple of hours before I was due to leave, I was shaking. So I filled the gap again with my voice. Finally he asked if I could stop talking for a few moments as he had something to say.

As he started to let me know that he had feelings for me, I stopped him and told him I had to leave and started to walk away. I just couldn't handle it. This poor man, who had drummed up the courage to finally ask me to kindly shut up so that he could essentially declare his undying love for me, was, for a moment, standing alone, wondering what on earth had just happened? Fortunately he grabbed me and brought me back and made me listen to what he had to say, all while I, unable to look him in the eye, stood staring at a tree stump as I repeatedly kicked and scraped it with my foot.

Weeks later, for some reason, that tree stump had needed to be removed and he had salvaged some wood from it and crafted for me this heart that you see at the top of the page. It is a constant reminder of how we started, it can take me back to those feelings of butterflies and fear and joy and excitement, in a moment. We have a crazy story and a wonderful love and it's a love that is real and true and has stood the test of time and that I know will last a lifetime.

Obviously you know how the story ended as here we are, married sixteen years, with three children and I wouldn't have my life any other way.

I know that for some of you out there this day might feel like a slap in the face (I dislike it too), but please don't ever settle for anything less than the real thing. This is just another day and your worth is not dictated by whether you receive flashy jewelry or chocolates or flowers or a cheesy card. Your heart is the most valuable gift and should not be given away cheaply to someone who will not cherish and take care of it and protect it with all that they have and are. If and when it is the right time, give it freely and completely, but until then, love your friends and your family and live your life fully, with no regrets.

52 Weeks of 2013 - Week 6

A girl and her puppy. True love without fear of rejection, that's the best kind of love. I'm sure her parents hope she will remember the value of unconditional love in the years ahead when boys becoming her focus :)

52 Weeks of 2013 - Week 5

Remember that silly poem about what little girls are made of? Sugar and spice and everything nice? Well what I love about my daughter (and what sometimes drives me crazy, if I'm being honest) is that she is no pushover. She is wonderful and sweet and caring and kind but she is nobody's fool!

I am glad of it. I want her to be independent and strong, not swayed by popular opinion or peer pressure. I want her to stand up for herself and for what she believes in. Sometimes that means, as she tests our boundaries, that there is inappropriate behavior, but that is part of our role as parents; to teach her how to handle herself and be heard, without anger and spite. This is the safe training ground, surrounded by those who love her, who will never reject her or take revenge. This is her place to bloom.

She has a spark and a joy and the ability to laugh at herself and they will carry her far. She is determined and I know that will serve her well in life. She will be one who take risks, she will go for it when others are standing back. I pray that she will be bold and courageous, even though at times she feels afraid.

Right now she is my little girl and as much as I would like to keep her that way, I cannot wait to see the woman she will become and all that she will achieve!

Day In The Life - January 2013

Often photographers end up neglecting the documentation of their own families. Sometimes it can be due to being too busy with client work, or a lack of inspiration, or just not being able to balance everything. This is my 'Day in the Life Project'. I choose one day each month to document, from morning to night, so that each month I am guaranteed photographs of my family and my life.

I may be blogging this late in the month, but it was New Year's Day, the first day of the year that I photographed. It was one of those days that did not go as planned, but turned out great. We had planned on visiting the Exploratorium in San Francisco, on the last day before it's big move down to Pier 15. However, many other people had the same idea and the line was ridiculous. Instead we wandered around the Palace of Fine Arts and then over to the beach, a quick lunch, then back over the bridge to the Bay Area Discovery Museum. As we all started to get hungry again we got a welcome call from friends inviting us over for dinner (an offer we rarely refuse, be warned) and it was the perfect way end our wonderful day, complete with an after-dinner-show put on by the lovely children.

These are not technically perfect (far from it), or portrait-worthy, this is just real life. If you are doing something similar leave me a comment with a link to where I can follow along with you, I would love that!

52 Weeks of 2013 - Week 4

The simplicity of childhood. Even in this day and age, full of computers and televisions and electronic toys and games, I love to see a child completely absorbed and in wonder at the magic of a bubble. The concentration and effort, the participation in the creation only add to the mystery. The squeals and laughter as siblings join in, attempting to catch the fragile rainbow, only to have it burst and splash their skin, exploding joy. Does it get any better than this?

If we could all slow down and unplug a little more often, maybe we could recapture the essence of these simple joys, a childhood revisited. To see as they see and feel as they feel again, wouldn't that be a wonderful thing? These days with our children are short lived and I, for one, want to be more intentional with my time and how I use it...not miss these precious moments.

52 Weeks of 2013 - Week 3

My children have always loved the swings at playgrounds, I spent countless hours pushing them and yet it seemed it was never enough. The exhilaration, the sense of freedom? Maybe they felt like they were flying? At times, I confess, I would get bored and encourage them onto some other piece of apparatus, but they always came back to the swings. Now look at my baby...she can fly on her own and fly she does!

As I look at my life it seems there is rarely time to dream. These years with young children are full of dishes and cooking and laundry and running to and from one place to another. Yet I truly would not have it any other way...I know I will look back at this time as one of the richest of my life.

I entered a giveaway today where the question was "Tell me about a milestone or dream you have achieved or would love to achieve." I took a deep breath to try to think of anything! Surprisingly it came quickly to me and it wasn't about a career or great opportunity but it was my marriage. My parents divorced shortly before I hit my teen years and it was devastating. For many years I doubted that I wanted to ever marry, to risk it all when after five children and a life of ministry it could still all be thrown away? But deep inside I dreamed of a marriage that was strong, that was full of love and laughter and support. My husband also came from a family of divorce and had the same dream...last week we celebrated sixteen years of marriage. We have outlasted both our parents' marriages and are still going strong. I am blessed to have my best friend by my side to share life with!

As a family too we are starting to dream. Not one for resolutions, a few days into the start of the year I decided we would have a family dream list. Some of our dreams are completely realistic and some seem incredibly extravagant and unlikely, but we are writing them down and we will try to make them happen. The children are helping us come up with the ideas and we have 68 so far on our list which is to be 100. A simple one which we achieved this weekend, was to walk across the Golden Gate Bridge. I have lived here for 14 years and had never done it, but now we can cross it off the list. I'll be sure to let you know when we get to swim with dolphins or vacation on a houseboat or visit Thailand again and if you know anyone who owns a dog sledding team, let us know :)

Our time frame is before the kids grow up and move out, so we have a while. It was fun coming up with ideas and felt good to write them down and give airy dreams, skin and bones. Speaking it out, writing it down - I highly recommend it!

52 Weeks of 2013 - Week 2

Ok - so I may be slightly biased, but I happen to think my son is incredibly handsome and he's a total sweetheart too!

52 Weeks of 2013 - Week 1

We are surrounded by beauty. Yet in the busyness of our daily lives, do we really take the time to look for it...every day? There are lunches to be made and dishes to be washed and groceries to be bought and the list goes on. When we open our eyes though, really open them and look, intentionally, we can see and appreciate so much more. When I have my camera I look in a different way, I see things that I might otherwise miss and this wonderful tool has taught me so much.

Today I took my little girl and met a good friend for a hike; we drove out to the Mill Valley waterfall, a place new to me. It was truly beautiful and I would have enjoyed it regardless, but with my camera over my shoulder the light streaming through the trees grabbed me, the water splashing down drew me in, the buds on the branches and the fungi tucked into hollows were treasures, waiting to be discovered. Gifts for me!

Goodbye 2012...

And just like that, the year is almost over! I have no idea how it happened, I swear time is somehow speeding up, please let me know if you know a way to slow it down. I notice it most in my kids; this time last year both of my girls had all their teeth and were definitely inches shorter, my boy too, was much shorter and maybe a little quieter and more reserved. This has been a year with highs and some low-lows.

Parenting is no easy task and that saying about wearing your heart outside of your body once you have children has felt very true. There are hard things that they have to go through, that we just can't fix for them and as a mother, with all the love that I have, it breaks my heart. To share in their joy and excitement though, is just so much fun. This week of celebrating Christmas, remembering Christ's birth and how that has changed our lives forever; the best gift...time together as a family, the anticipation and the presents and their exuberant gratitude, it is priceless!

As I reflect on this year I see growth, I see and feel the ways I have changed and I have hope for the coming year.  I know that at the end of next year we will be moving and I have no idea where to. My husband will have finished with his degree so we will need to move off campus, even if we remain in the general area. The uncertainty and unknown can be scary, especially for a planner such as I, but for now I am content to take it one day at a time and cross that bridge when we come to it.

Heading into 2013 I plan to continue my Day In The Life Series and am thinking of doing another 52-week project as I feel I have not been shooting as much as I would have liked to this year and want to get back into the habit of carrying my camera around with me more again. Let me know what your plans are and where I can follow along.

If you are on Facebook, I would really appreciate you 'liking' my photography page if you haven't already (http://www.facebook.com/JuanitaCannanPhotography). I would love to start picking up more work and 'likes' not only help get the word out but provide legitimacy. Thank you so much for reading and following and enjoying my photography as well as your ongoing support and encouragement.

Special thanks to my husband for being my biggest fan and always being prepared to jump into photographs with me and my son for capturing this one once I had all the settings correct :)

 

From me to you, Happy New Year!

Day In the Life - December 2012

Often photographers end up neglecting the documentation of their own families. Sometimes it can be due to being too busy with client work, or a lack of inspiration, or just not being able to balance everything. This is my 'Day in the Life Project'. I have chosen the first day each month to document, from morning to night, so that each month I am guaranteed photographs of my family and my life.

My blog, my rules...so once again my day to document didn't land on the 1st,  instead I chose one of our family days. Saturday, December 8th, was a fun day; we started out with the Christmas Cafe and Children's Store (a seminary event) in the morning, stopped to visit friends and have lunch, then continued our annual tradition of cutting down our Christmas Tree. A couple of years ago we discovered Celesta Farms, in Sebastopol and have never looked back. They are a family run farm, with great prices and we love that as returning customers we get a $5 discount as well as the free coffee, hot chocolate or cider and cookies.

These are not technically perfect (far from it), or portrait-worthy, this is just real life. If you are doing something similar leave me a comment with a link to where I can follow along with you, I would love that!

A Dream is a Wish your Heart Makes {Marin County Head Shots Photographer}

 
I am so excited for Jenna. She is taking risks and trying new things so that she won't look back later in life, with regret, wondering what might have happened if she had just tried.

She is a beautiful, genuine young lady hoping to become a real life Disney princess!

Of course even princesses need a resume, but unlike most 'regular' positions, they also need head shots. Enter moi. Of course looking this good, my job was pretty easy.

Wishing you every success Jenna, have fun in Disneyworld next week.

Day In The Life - November 2012

Often photographers end up neglecting the documentation of their own families. Sometimes it can be due to being too busy with client work, or a lack of inspiration, or just not being able to balance everything. This is my 'Day in the Life Project'. I have chosen the first day each month to document, from morning to night, so that each month I am guaranteed photographs of my family and my life.

My blog, my rules...so once again my day to document didn't land on the 1st (as I had documented the day before for the previous month, the 31st and didn't want to do two days back-to-back) instead I chose one of our family days. I already posted one photo from my day, earlier in the month, but here are some more.

These are not technically perfect (far from it), or portrait-worthy, this is just real life. If you are doing something similar leave me a comment with a link to where I can follow along with you, I would love that!

The End of Summer

We don't have a garden at the moment so when I visit friends who do, I love to get out my macro lens and see what I can capture. It was slim pickings last week, but I found this beauty. Nothing can compare to the elegance of a rose.

Today's storms reminded me that Summer is well and truly gone, but there is a welcome familiarity to the changing of seasons. Christmas is around the corner, bringing with it more family time and the chance for life to slow down again. So as I listen to the rain, or my children bickering, I remind myself again that I get to choose if my glass is half full, or half empty...and I strive to look for the positives. It doesn't always come easily for me, but I am being intentional, reminding myself of all the good things and hoping for much more.

Grateful

My favorite times are the times we get to spend together as a family, it truly is priceless. I love this simple shot of my precious family walking ahead of me down to the beach, it fills my heart.

The day before Thanksgiving was a beautiful day, there was no work or school so we headed out to Fort Kronkite for some beach and hiking time. It feels so good to get outdoors and breathe the fresh air and to be free of distractions. For a girl from England, to be able to do that at the end of November and not be freezing my butt off is just wonderful, I don't think I will ever take it for granted. I love Northern California and that we can be so close to a city, the beach, the mountains AND the woods...we are blessed.